There it was on caller I.D. The number of my spineless, lazyass, "I-have-9-months-to-retirement-so-don't-give-me-any-trouble," "I-don't-know-what-you-are-talking-about-but-you-can't-work-part-time-now-and-you-have-to-come-back-full-time-as-of-next-Monday" second in command of yet another worthless governmental entity formerly known as my employer before I got the huge shaft.
SL: Hey, Kristen. It's Spineless Lazyass. How are you doing?
K: I'm doing well. How are you? (getting excited because I'm sure he is calling to grovel)
SL: Well, we were thinking that you have the manuals that you were working on updating before you left and we hope to get them from you.
K: (thinking that the depth of his daftness had exceeded my every expectation) Of course I brought the manuals back on my last day of work.
SL: Well, bipolar, pathological liar, "Is-it-OK-to-purchase-anti-depressants-from-those-emails-that-I-get-even-though-I-run-a-law-enforcement-department," "what-are-you-talking-about-I-never-would-have-told-you-that-you-could-work-part-time-after-you-had-your-child-even-though-you-left-a-better-job-to-come-here-because-of-my-false-promise," bigoted ex-boss of yours looked on the shelf and didn't see them.
K: Wow! Let me guess. She took three seconds to look for them on one shelf and then called it an 8-hour day. Tell her she can find the manuals where she left her integrity. Oh, that's right. She never had any. You are giving me a hard time because of that comment I made that the only thing that would make her and the job tolerable would be to have Prozac put in the water cooler. Funny that you got rid of me because you needed the work done in a short period of time and couldn't afford to let me work part-time and you haven't touched the project in five months.
What a piece of crap! It's crap like this that earns the government all its lawsuits. I hope he got hit by a bus on the way home from work. Nothing terminal. Just something to ruin the weekend.