Thursday, June 09, 2005

Only in Montgomery County

This is why I live in Virginia.

Conspiracy theories and such

For the record, the request for medication in the below post was for me, not Ethan. Thanks Marelle, for the intervention attempt. I will make you a BIG margarita on Saturday as an expression of my gratitude.

You know the old saying, it's not a conspiracy theory if it is actually happening? Trivial as it may seem, I discovered this morning that Graco MUST have some sort of thing going with Duracell because I had to put 4 more batteries into that cordless monitor in as many days. The good news is that if I am using the monitor, that means my baby is actually sleeping. So should I just see this as a blessing in the disguise of a monetary ball and chain?

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

One dog's intelligence

Or lack thereof.

So we decided to can green beans tonight. Not ordinary green beans, but special ones that stick out of Bloody Marys on weekends. This would be a FABulous idea if I liked Bloody Marys. Or green beans, for that matter. But Derek has been inspired by Bonnie Moore (who we saw tonight, per chance, at Whole Foods, doing her personal shopping--she stopped to tell us we had a beautiful baby and I told her that my husband was stalking her via every class she teaches--just kidding, I figure she'll figure out the stalking on her own--really, if your husband's fantasy is an award-winning chef, how do you lose?), all due to a recent canning class at Sur La Table.

So we were outside snapping the green beans when I realized how intellectually-challenged Zinni truly is. Derek was snapping off the tops of the green beans and throwing them to Zin. He was catching EVERY SINGLE ONE, chewing on it for a sec, and then spitting it out. Since there were 2 1/2 pounds of green beans, you do the math.

Did he think that Derek was switching to steak every other bean? WTH? I watched him and thought about every single person that told me that Zinni was such a smart dog. And how very wrong every single person was.

Derek called it the actions of the eternal optimist. Spoken like the eternal optimist himself.

where's the medication?

baby won't sleep. cranky because of lack of sleep. i'm....going....crazy.....

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Words you never want to hear from your mother

So we were at Jen's house this weekend helping her move (ok, at this point we were just lounging around, doing nothing) when we had a baby-overheating incident. Explain to me how I am supposed to keep this kid cool without sticking ice packs under his arms on a hot day.

So he is whiny and someone gets the brilliant idea to stick him in the cooler. Derek went into the kitchen, put some cold water in it and brought it back outside. I stripped off what little clothes he had on and put him in. That was when my mother piped up.

"Buddy, I am so sorry that these people are your parents."

Hey, mom, it's not like I grabbed the full cooler, took out a couple of beers to make room and put him down on ice.

Come to think of it, that would have been the PERFECT solution.

Rock, paper, scissors

Ever played rock, paper, scissors to get out of doing something and have someone pull, what they call dynamite, out of their pocket?

Work with me here. Wouldn't we call it "rock, paper, scissors, dynamite" then?

I don't know what the hell dynamite is supposed to beat, but my ass surely wasn't the one going downstairs to retrieve the baby monitor.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Opa, E and the Rolls. Posted by Hello

I can't believe we have to sit in COACH. Anyways, I'm about done this white russian. Could you top my bottle off, love? Posted by Hello