Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Things I've Learned at Hayden Lake, Part IV

1. Blood is thicker than water. When the 7-year-old demon seed of second cousin twice removed asked, "So, are you a (insert patriarchal family name known across the county)?" My response, "Well, I'm a ... by marriage." With a look of resignation/condescension, "Yeah, that's what my mom is too." And off he trotted. Little bastard. But I guess he was saying what everyone else is thinking.

2. Do your own damn laundry if you want to be able to find anything ever again. And even if you do your own laundry on the regular cycle, small load, you will return 10 minutes later to find the machine on permanent press wash with a medium load. WTF? Further, I spent $6 on two pairs of socks and ONE SOCK IS MISSING. If you want my child to live, stop messing with my laundry.

3. You know you talk like a truck driver when you have to explain the definition of WTF to the aunt who is a school bus driver for a living and has been doing it for like a hundred years.

12 comments:

Humor Girl said...

lol! I love your blog...can I tell you enough. Ahh...the in-law relatives. :)

Anonymous said...

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Cat Furniture said...

Hey, I have been out blog surfing and found this one... Yes, I found your blog while wondering aimlessly around the internet... Just thought I would let you know.

MB said...

Okay, I have to confess to you now. I think part of the problem is your location, "Hayden Lake" My ex was a Hayden and was a disaster! His extended family was a lot like the people you've described. Although I loved his folks. The brother and cousins were all extremely horrid. I would take the child and run! hihi!!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ah family....ain't they grand? :)

momma of 2 said...

LOL....

Oh...In-laws...sometimes Hubby's should come with warning labels....

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

next time i really need to go on vaction with you...this sounds kinda like the griswalds in those movies...National Lapoons Family Renoiun..lol..I swear..you could make a movie;)

Martin said...

Funny, I've never heard of anyone getting married in Northampton to photograph. I suppose there must be some people...

Enjoying the holiday extracts. A quote from one of your earlier posts is currently tying for my quote of the week award.

amy said...

Hubbys should ALWAYS come with disclaimers about the in-laws.

Defining WTF to the bus driver: priceless.

Jaime said...

Could you BE any more hilarious? Seriously.

nancy said...

Is it time to go home yet????? :)I'm feeling your pain.

PBS said...

The bus driver must be just tuning out the kids behind her!