Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Things I've Learned at Hayden Lake, Part C

1. Once a mother, always a mother. Derek's father is threatening to take the leftover salmon for lunch tomorrow when the two guys go fishing up in the mountains. After saying 5 times how dangerous the salmon can be and that they should be taking cans of sardines for lunch, she has now packed 2 loaves of bread, a few boxes of crackers, granola bars, fruit, and frankly, enough food to feed the five thousand. The guys, as expected, will leave the bag in the truck, proceed to eat the salmonella-poisoned salmon (no pun intended), return to the truck and throw the bag out before returning. Neither will get ill and no one will be the wiser. Part B--Derek is looking for Tylenol and I couldn't tell him where it his. His mother has mentioned 5 times that she has Tylenol. I finally told him to just go with her and to bring back anything she has that is better than Tylenol. I could use it right now.

2. Surly parents breed surly children.

3. If you don't like someone, that person will do whatever it takes to drive you insane. Wife of second cousin twice removed helped herself to the floatie that I went to great pains to weasel out of a neighbor so E could swim like the rest of the big kids. I thought terrible thoughts (jaime's suggestion of beating her ass with the little blue shovel came to mind) but I let it all slide. She has to live with herself and that is probably more punishment than one person should ever have to endure.

4. If a 4 year old asks repeatedly to go shopping with you, she will only make it 10 miles before complaining incessantly "why do we ALWAYS have to go shopping." She will then be TOO hot, TOO hungry, and TOO tired to make it through the rest of the trip. Apparently McDonald's can fix all of those situations though.

5. If laundry is left to others, your husband will find himself without one pair of shorts to wear. He will then come out to the patio in his boxers because God forbid he ever miss "Happy Hour at the Point" with the rest of the family. As various extended family members appear, he will continue to run in and out of the house to get glasses or whatever anyone needs, wearing boxers. Did I mention he was wearing boxers?

12 comments:

Humor Girl said...

lol...I hope he had a button on his boxers...did he have a button? God, I hope he had a button.

Gangadhar said...

lol..

Katya said...

brilliant, i love it...

:0)

momma of 2 said...

LOL...it's all so true isn't it? kinda scary if you think about it. Please make sure hubby's shorts get washed...or make sure boxers have a button...it's all family -but not all family wants to see the jewels. LOL

Marel Lecone said...

Very funny, Girlie. And, yes, McDonald's is the cure for all pains. Hope your having fun. :)

Jaime said...

I am completely laughing my ass off. Isn't urinary incontinence supposed to come AFTER the baby?? I'm in trouble...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes mcdonalds does crue all..I learned that a long time ago..lol

so..boxers...he was wearing boxers huh:-)

MB said...

This is scary! Did you marry into some sort of "It's a Mad,Mad,Mad,Mad,Mad, World family? Have you had your child checked?

BTW: Any normal person knows you bring bread and canned sardines when you go fishing!

Kris said...

Oh crap. I think I'm the 4-year-old in #4 . . .

nancy said...

thank God for McDonald's...the miracle silencer!!!!

PBS said...

Wow, so interesting! I like the "salmonella-poisoned salmon" ha ha.

amy said...

You are so right that whichever relative you hate most will drive you crazy the most. That would be my sister-in-law.

Cookie darling, you have inspired me, I will from now on blog the incredibly agonizing moments when I spend weekends in Maine. Thanksgiving should be a doozy. Hell, what am I thinking. My own family in Michigan could take the cake this year!