1. Once a mother, always a mother. Derek's father is threatening to take the leftover salmon for lunch tomorrow when the two guys go fishing up in the mountains. After saying 5 times how dangerous the salmon can be and that they should be taking cans of sardines for lunch, she has now packed 2 loaves of bread, a few boxes of crackers, granola bars, fruit, and frankly, enough food to feed the five thousand. The guys, as expected, will leave the bag in the truck, proceed to eat the salmonella-poisoned salmon (no pun intended), return to the truck and throw the bag out before returning. Neither will get ill and no one will be the wiser. Part B--Derek is looking for Tylenol and I couldn't tell him where it his. His mother has mentioned 5 times that she has Tylenol. I finally told him to just go with her and to bring back anything she has that is better than Tylenol. I could use it right now.
2. Surly parents breed surly children.
3. If you don't like someone, that person will do whatever it takes to drive you insane. Wife of second cousin twice removed helped herself to the floatie that I went to great pains to weasel out of a neighbor so E could swim like the rest of the big kids. I thought terrible thoughts (jaime's suggestion of beating her ass with the little blue shovel came to mind) but I let it all slide. She has to live with herself and that is probably more punishment than one person should ever have to endure.
4. If a 4 year old asks repeatedly to go shopping with you, she will only make it 10 miles before complaining incessantly "why do we ALWAYS have to go shopping." She will then be TOO hot, TOO hungry, and TOO tired to make it through the rest of the trip. Apparently McDonald's can fix all of those situations though.
5. If laundry is left to others, your husband will find himself without one pair of shorts to wear. He will then come out to the patio in his boxers because God forbid he ever miss "Happy Hour at the Point" with the rest of the family. As various extended family members appear, he will continue to run in and out of the house to get glasses or whatever anyone needs, wearing boxers. Did I mention he was wearing boxers?