Thursday, February 02, 2006

"It's fun to smoke marijuana"

Having said that, I can now roughly place your reaction to that title into four categories:

1. The "damn skippy" contingent,
2. The "huh, what the hell happened to Kristen?" contingent,
3. The "when-I-typed-'its fun to smoke marijuana' into-google-how-the-hell-did-I-get-to-this-blog" contingent, and last, but certainly not least,
4. The "Rock.Music.Is.Evil.Must.Not.Listen.To.It.For.It.Will.Drive.Me.To.Do.Drugs" contingent.

I distinctly remember that day in the 3rd grade when I sat in the auditorium of my fundamentalist school and listened to Queen backwards and forwards, about a million times. We were supposed to hear "it's fun to smoke marijuana." I couldn't hear it. It was gobbly-gook. I listened desperately, fascinated that I had now heard my first rock song AND found out about drugs all on the same day. We were then exhorted to not listen to rock music ever because it was just a few steps away from a 5-bag-a-day heroin habit. Marijuana, heroin, whatever that was.

Fastforward to 7:23 a.m. this morning. I had headphones on while still lying in bed and was listening to PMBR's Constitutional Law CD #2.

Why was Kristen listening to a Constitutional Law CD in bed? Why is Kristen now referring to herself in 3rd person? Has Kristen lost what is left of her mind? The answers to these questions are inconsequential to the story so Kristen will stop to say that Kristen is taking the bar exam in 19 days and today Kristen is feeling like Kristen is probably going to fail which is why Kristen is listening to CD's every given second. Having said all that, Kristen will just move on with the story.

So maybe I had wandered off to sleep. But what I heard at 7:23 a.m. awakened me with a fright. In the midst of a discussion concerning the Dormant Commerce Clause (and now you know WHY I fell asleep), the CD began to skip. And there it was. In a deep voice that was CLEARLY not the voice of the professor droning...

"Have.Safe.Sex.Have.Safe.Sex.Have.Safe.Sex.Have.Safe.Sex.Have.Safe.Sex."

I came careening out of bed dying to let Derek listen to this, only to have the cd player skip ahead one second. Back to the professor. It skipped again. Still the professor.

D: Are you sure you heard it? You need to go back and listen again because maybe he was talking about sex.
K: The Dormant Commerce Clause has NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX!! I heard it, I swear to God, I heard it, I swear on my grandmother's grave (God rest her soul), I heard it. PMBR Constitutional Law CD#2, Track 11, 10:09.

So did I hear it? Or was I just hearing what I wanted to hear, just like all the fundamentalists in the 70's?

If I had listened to the damn CD the first time around, maybe I wouldn't have needed to listen to it now....

4 comments:

Dave said...

Girl, you need to get out for a walk or something...

Marel Lecone said...

Yeah, I'm thinking you might need a little break. Well, in about nineteen days, I guess. I figured this was coming up. I talked to that girl and finally asked her about the exam when she took it in November . . . she then informed be of the February date. Big Happy Thoughts to you!

Martin said...

Well, at least you imagined the tape telling you to have safe sex.

momma of 2 said...

at least it wasn't wild monkey sex or someting like that...
Have fun studying... uhm... the CD sounds like what I need to help me sleep at night!