Sunday, January 29, 2006

It's only because he is such a great mediator

Lately we have been having all of our important conversations through the baby.

D: Hey buddy. Do you want a baby brother?
K: Huh?
D: (thinking that perhaps he has just made a gender error) A baby sister?
K: Buddy, since Mom took an antibiotic that has the half-life the same as, say, uranium, Dad's penis won't be coming anywhere near Mom's Vahh-GIII-na anytime soon.

Oh, that's what I said. Vahh-GIIII-na. I let the "gi" hang in the back of my throat and then roll off my tongue just like my niece does. My niece realized that she could say the word "vagina" and it would have the fabulous effect of making everyone slightly nervous but no one would ever tell her not to say it because who wants to be responsible for contributing to the cultural dysfunction that will descend on its own by junior high?

D: Why do you have to say that?
K: What do you want me to say? Do you want me to refer to it by the anatomically correct term of "woo-woo?" How about "cooch?"
D: Why do you have to do it?

Just to bug you. See button, will push.

7 comments:

Maribeth said...

And my cousin has a beautiful little girl to attest to the fact that antibiotics make the pill useless!
What a shock to her!

amy said...

Excellent reminder about the use of antibiotics and birth control. Love the use of the word "vagina" and the awesome phonetic spelling. It's as if I can hear you saying it (screaming it?) down the hallway ... priceless!

Memphis Steve said...

The correct term is "hu hu."

I pity your husband and that damned antibiotic. You can tell him I said so. I married man shouldn't have to reaquaint himself with Mr. Hand, but I guess sometimes it happens.

You crack me up though.

momma of 2 said...

Baby Girl is the result of the effectiveness of Antibiotics and the BC Pill - otherwise there would have a bigger age difference between them.

Hubby can either wear a "hat" or reaquaint himself with Mr. Hand, if I have taken even one of those makemebetternow pills. As we are done - no more kids, and he won't go have that simple little procedure done. (Keeps forgetting to make an appointment - yeah right.)

PBS said...

Son is because of taking antibiotics with the pill. Guess it's happened to a lot of us. My situation turned out great, luckily!

vani said...

#3 was a result of the same thing. Who knew??? I sure didn't, lol.

Kristen said...

Vani--You just had your 3rd child.....LAST WEEK. I can't even find energy to read everyone's blog, let alone comment back to everyone on my own blog.

Stop making the rest of us look bad. Talk about being able to multi-task.

WonderWOMAN!!