Sunday, November 27, 2005

Things not to say/do on vacation with your in-laws

1. When your father-in-law is moaning about the price of gas at $2.29 a gallon and his little yellow light on the dashboard is on, don't say "isn't $2.29 cheaper than a tow truck?"

2. In the middle of dinner when your father-in-law continues to fill up your husband's glass with red wine, don't say "you probably should stop doing that because you might need a part of his liver some day."

3. Do not follow your in-laws into their hotel room 2 minutes behind them without knocking on the door, even if they know you are coming. You may find your father-in-law climbing into his bed. If you do, do not (and I cannot stress this enough) shriek loudly and go running from the room. We're all adults, for heaven's sake.

4. Do not cover your ears and start humming when the discussion goes south and suddenly you are in mixed company with your mother-in-law discussing the conceiving of your husband. There is no song loud enough to drown out the phrase, "and I was so horny I borrowed money and took a train across country to meet Derek's father." I know they did it at least once, and I am VERY glad for them, but I really don't need to hear about it.

11 comments:

missbhavens said...

The fear of accidentally seeing my father-in-law climb into bed with his plumber-butt exposed is one of the things that keeps me single. I have In-Law-Rear-Fear.

NO STUFFING?????

Laura said...

There was plenty of alcohol flowing at my in laws over the weekend, too. And on more than one occasion, I found myself saying, "I so reeeeeally did not need to hear that".
Mmm...holidays with the in laws. I've had my fill, thanks. I'm saying ~when~.
AAACK!
Happy late Thanksgiving!!
~L.

Maribeth said...

It's my own parents that usually pull this crap on me! And trust me, if there is one thing worse then your in-laws discussing the conception of your husband, it's your parents talking about how they got together to make you! Yikes!

momma of 2 said...

I and my 4 sibilings are here due to immaculate conception...same with my hubby and his brother - they were also conceived via immaculate conception...my parents nor the in-laws never had sex...LALALALA...(running away with hands over ears....)

amy said...

Holy mother of God! (What truly scares me is that you and I currently have the same title of blogposts to discuss our Thankgiving adventures)

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Hilarious!!!

I know it may have been painful for you when it all happened but that was some funny stuff...;)

Thanks for the laugh this morning! :)

Random Vixen said...

ewww thats just ewww.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

LMFAO!!

ok so it is not good idea to hear sex talk about how the hubby was concived..but how the the brother in law..I must have heard a few dozen times how he was concvided in chicgao..who the fuck cares mr.father in law you creepy ass son of bitch..mine not yours..heehee

Marel Lecone said...

You had me at #1. Too funny. You and the in-laws . . . that must be the biggest riot. I'm so glad that you guys are so in love--since that is the only way to survive the in-laws, right? :)

Caryn said...

Great list. Hilarious!

Jaime said...

OMG - LMAO as usual when you discuss your inlaws. You had a fabulous point on #1. (Well, all really)