Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

When your best friend's mother's lazy-ass-two-timing-no-good-rat-bastard-cheating-manipulating-rotten-verbally-abusive-did-I-forget-to-tell-you-for-the-first-YEAR-that-we-were-dating-that-I-have-a-wife-oops-maybe-I-should-have-brought-that-up-in-one-of-our-conversations boyfriend promises that he really is going to leave his wife but he wants to wait until January first, I would not recommend saying either of the following:

1. Has your mother developed a crank habit of which we have been unaware, and

2. What does he want? To use her one more year to get a break on the taxes?

Even the longsuffering may falter in a moment such as this.

4 comments:

amy said...

Um, yeah. I'm thinking maybe he gets coal in his stocking this year. And maybe hang the stocking outside so she can lock him out of the house for good.

Cathy said...

Have your best friend purchase the book "He's Just Not That Into You" for her mom.

Have her mark/highlight the following chapters"

- He's just not that into you if he is cheating on you - or having sex with someone else while dating you.

- He's just not that into you if he is married to someone else.

- He's just not that into you if he does not ask you to marry him.

Sounds like common sense to me, but I am well aware men can make women believe stupid things they normally would not.

If that doesn't work - I say a singles cruise for the mom and daughter without the lame-ass bf is in order....

momma of 2 said...

You probably don't want to say -

- Damn, your mom is "the OTHER WOMAN"

or

- Your Mom is a MISTRESS....

that might not be good either....

Jaime said...

I totally thought of taxes when you said the date. SO something my husband would do. ;)