Saturday, June 18, 2005

My apologies to all the single/married people without children

I have become one of THEM. You know those assholes who mows his lawn before noon on the weekend.

I remember when I was single and in my first year of law school. I would work all day, go to school all night. I lived for Saturdays when I wouldn't get out of bed until 5:00 p.m. It was me and 80's movies on TBS all day. If I heard any manner of lawn equipment prior to noon, I would lie in bed with a pillow over my head, convincing myself that random gunshots out my window would NOT be productive.

Well, ever since "The Incident," I'm stuck doing all the heavy lifting and I might be stuck mowing my yard for the rest of my miserable life. So since the AC is out and we are living "efficiency style" in the living room, we were all up bright and early this morning. OK, not so bright. So I decided to mow the lawn/savannah that I have neglected for the past week. And I sure as hell wasn't waiting til it got nice and HOT to do it.

KH: Is 8:42 a.m. a decent hour to start mowing the lawn?
DT: The neighbors will probably just be glad it's mowed.
KH: The neighbors who care have been up since 5 a.m. anyway.

For personal safety reasons, I mowed the backyard first. It cuts down on the list of possible suspects should someone decide to shoot me. By the time I got to the front yard, it was like 9:30. Hello, who's not up at 9:30?????

I've become one of Those People. The people with kids who don't give a rat's ass about the Other People Without Kids. I can't believe I have sunk this low.

7 comments:

Robin said...

Ahh, but before you were one those people who didn't give a rat's ass about the OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR STUPID KIDS. Am I right? We were all there once...

Kristen said...

Thank you for the affirmation, Robin. You are right. My memory is short.

Martin said...

I wake up at 8:30am to the sound of a dog barking, whether there's actually one there or not. But I remember being the young law kid who didn't get dressed til 7pm...

Kristen said...

I was supposed to get dressed on weekends too???

Martin said...

I live in a different country, so it doesn't really matter to me either way (porn star boobs or not).

Mario said...

Can't quite understand the point of what Martin is saying...

Ah Kristen, don't worry. We, people without kids (I'm not single, not marrid but kidless:) party at night, play loud misic etc., and probably keep people with kids up... so maybe we deserve a little lawn mowing at 08 in the mornin...

Kristen said...

Mario, just ignore Martin's comment. Pretend it didn't even happen. I have no idea what he is talking about either.

Martin, just kidding.