OK, so this whole putting the baby to bed thing is a crock. I'm a lazy ass and I have been letting him fall asleep in my arms and then putting him down. Not successfully, but putting him down nonetheless.
So we thought we would try the No Cry Sleep Solution on my sister's suggestion. It should be the "No Sleep, Parents Crying" Solution. I have come to realize that the Ferberizers/Type A's of this world have made that choice because it is the quickest solution to the problem. I can't do it. The crying bugs me. Not like it bugs my sister though. All last week she jumped up to grab the baby. Even Dave did it when E started to cry last night.
But back to the book. The baby has had, oh, about 70 minutes of sleep the entire day. In his little defense, he did sleep until 10, so he really isn't that awful. But the house is trashed and I can't get anything done.
KH: The book says to have an hour long routine before bed.
DT: Is the author on the internet? Can we find her? Maybe she can come over here every night for an hour to get this baby to sleep. An hour is ridiculous.
I pointed out that we had just carried the baby around for the last 7 1/2 hours so he wouldn't cry. Perhaps a one hour commitment isn't THAT much. Whatever.
I read off the list of suggested activities that might induce an infant to be lulled to sleep. The list is as long as the check points for a Jiffy Lube oil change.
We have tried several things on the list already, but to no avail. How about that soothing bath before bed? We did it in the dark, by candlelight, with soft music in the background. The kid splashed like Michael Phelps, dousing his parents and not becoming even remotely tired.
And then there is the lovely suggestion about singing lullabies or playing music. Not a problem as long as we hum the music or play instrumental. Otherwise he sings loudly. That's what he did at the funeral last week. Cute, but not good. And certainly not something that is going to get him to sleep.
DT: Give him to me, I'll rock him.
Two minutes later...
DT: I'm getting seasick.
I think that must be better than being in a rocking chair and getting car sick, right?