I'm talking to B today, whining about how I am going to have to get a job, and quick, and she offers me an opportunity to get in on the top of a pyramid scheme.
It seems that this girl she knows, who hates her, called her yesterday to tell her at she was looking for a strong member to be part of a strong team.
B: No, some beauty products.
K: No kidding. Isn't she the adjective queen. She didn't actually say "strong member" of a "strong team" did she?
K: So what do you sell?
K: What do you mean, you don't sell anything?
B: I just have to find more "strong members" for our "strong team."
K: She is not this stupid. And she hates you. Which may explain why she is offering you an opportunity to commit a FELONY. Does she know this is a pyramid scheme?
B: How can she not? She's not actually selling anything. At least I don't think so. I didn't read any of the stuff she gave me. So how am I supposed to tell her no?
K: How about "I hate the Bureau and being under investigation does not sound fun to me." Or "you know, Madonna, I have issues with embezzling and it would only be a matter of time before I was ripping you off and I wouldn't want to jeopardize our totally fake friendship." And if you like you could add "and I mean 'friendship' as it refers to someone who goes to someone's grandmother's wake and never actually acknowledges her presence and yes it is seven months later but I can hold a grudge and I never really liked you anyway, you self-centered money-grubbing conniving bitch."
B: You know, people in the Midwest are making a LOT of money in this pyramid scheme.
K: You didn't actually refer to it as a pyramid scheme when you were talking to her about it, but if you did, you are so cool.
B: There is even a weekly conference call to discuss it.
K: Wow. Now I know it's legit. I was wondering before, but if there is a conference call it must be for real. You should totally do it.
B: You know, she said that lots of lawyers are involved in this.
K: Yes, they are. I have no doubt that LOTS of lawyers are involved in this. On retainer, I'm sure. So how are the beauty products?
B: I haven't really noticed a difference.
K: I will so give you $10 I don't have if you call her up and tell her that you don't know what is in this lotion but you have had 3 guys propose marriage already today, and that one was at a red light.
B: You think?
And to think that people are still falling for this. I love it.