Why is it that my child, when handed a cup, can miraculously grip it tightly (yet in a bizarre twist, almost gently) with both of his grimy little hands, slowly put it up to his mouth and drink without spilling even a drop sometimes, but when there is a full can of Dr. Pepper (minus one baby sip because God forbid anyone give me a chance to drink a drink or actually do anything in this house EVER) resting on the back of the couch against the wall, my son has to grip it with both hands at the very bottom of the can and up-end it so the entire thing pours all over the couch faster than shotgunning a beer like you did back in the old days before domesticity and parental obligations forced you to this life of involuntary servitude?
Why? On a stack of Bibles, the kid wouldn't do it if it was a bottle of water. Just remember, it's not a consipiracy theory if it is really happening. And perception is reality.