K: He is so going to throw up in my hair while I am asleep tonight.
D: No, he's not.
K: I'll bet he will.
D: Double or nothing (referencing an outstanding debt that continues to grow, because, I'm an idiot).
K: Double or nothing he vomits in my hair tonight.
(sideline: flash to Beautiful Girls)
Paul: I can't find Jan (his ex). I'll bet she's with that meatcutter Victor.
Birdie: She's not with Victor.
Paul: I'll bet you $20 she's with Victor.
Kev: Bad bet.
Paul: What do you mean, "bad bet?"
Kev: It's a bad bet. If you are right, she is with Victor. If you are wrong, you gotta pay $20. Either way you lose. Bad bet.
D: But I want to be clear about the vomit in the hair.
K: What are you talking about? you want to decide what actually constitutes vomit in my hair?
D: Yeah, what if he just vomits and some splashes up on one piece of your hair. I'm not paying $80 for vomit on one piece of hair.
K: I think any vomit, even if only on one strand of hair, is payable.
D: I don't think so.
K: So if I lie in bed beside you, with one strand of hair with vomit on it, and decide not to take a shower, you'll be OK. Just lying beside me, knowing that there is vomit in a strand of my hair, yet not knowing exactly WHICH piece of hair is foul?
D: OK, I'll pay up for one strand.
Of the 11 times he has vomited on me in two days, you think the kid could have been nice enough to do it so I could get $80. I am SO getting him back when he turns 15.