Monday, October 03, 2005

All-consuming knowledge

E has his own laptop. It's ridiculous, I know, but it's true. It is the laptop from 1999 that gives the very disturbing Blue Screen when you try to access any programs. But it didn't crash when we downloaded the Muppet Babies game CD, so now Boo Boo Kitty can play with his computer when 'ada is playing with his computer.

So the other day the two boys were banging away on their respective computers when I decided that enough was enough and it was time for dad's Mini Me to go to bed. Offering him one last snack before bed, he chomped down as hard as he could, sending me to the moon. I screamed, "don't BITE" but he did it again. As he opened his mouth, there was a Q key rolling around. Many apologies from dad, but I wasn't feeling the love.

"You have to be careful. He could swallow those keys. And frankly, Poop Scrabble doesn't sound like my idea of a fun game."

A few days later we decided to go to the Renaissance Festival. I was trying to get everything together but it was taking friggin' forever. Derek let the baby play on the computer and then tried to give him a bottle. E was having no part of it, so D just put him in his car seat. They went outside and I just started to throw stuff into a bag. Fifteen minutes later we were on our way when BBK started to cough.

D: You alright buddy?

He told me to pull over, but the baby had stopped choking by then.

We made it to the light before Derek pulled an N key out of the baby's mouth. The man's only job is to KEEP THE BABY ALIVE while I am trying to get ONE DAMN THING DONE. Maybe the baby didn't want the bottle earlier because he was trying to keep from swallowing the keyboard.

You think he would notice an N key missing from the keyboard. I mean, it's not like it's the Alt button or anything.


J.P. said...

N keys and Q keys are nothing. You should try passing a SHIFT key sometime. Now that was a pain in the ass.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Oh no, I am so glad boo boo kitty knew enough not to swallow it, but rather keep it safe for daddy:)

How scaey is that..crap

momma of 2 said...

It's not like you need the n key for many things.... Look I used it 5 times. Am glad that it turned out okay - how scary.

Leesa said...

Wow..can't imagine. I am always taking things out of the dogs mouths...but different I guess:)

Memphis Steve said...

So your child is eating the letters off the keyboard one by one? And biting you along the way? Wow! The stories you'll be telling him when he's grown.

"Honey, you once tried to eat an entire computer one piece at a time. And you tried to eat me, too, which I did not appreciate."

momyblogR said...

Please! I didn't start leaving the kids with honey alone, until they knew how to dial 911. LOL!

amy said...

Oh man, I just burst out laughing here in the library. That was priceless, K, really. My god, I'm wiping away the tears. Make sure to keep tabs on the Enter key!

Jaime said...

OMG... that is TOO funny. I can remember the trashy neighbor telling my mother that kids swallow EVERYTHING and it's not a big deal - that her kids had eaten TONS of cigarette butts and coins. Compared to that keyboard letters should seem gourmet. Glad he's okay and that he didn't digest any (there aren't any others missing, are there??) ;)
Maybe he's trying to spell something out for you? :)

Marel Lecone said...

Totally. No way out for D--didn't notice the keys missing?!? :) Really glad all turned out well. It can be scary what you will find in the kids' mouth. The worst part--completely avoidable. Just today--"What's in your mouth, Faith?" One of those stupid bouncy rubber balls that you get at fairs and/or parties. I totally knew this as we picked up a couple this past weekend at the local festival. Damn me! :) Take care.