Monday, September 19, 2005

Three wakes and a funeral

Note to self:

1. Wearing a red tank top under your black suit at Viewing Session #1 will get you strange looks. Especially when the woman you are honoring has promised in advance that she will come back to haunt everyone who dresses inappropriately at her final hoorah. OK, so you may have done it on purpose, hoping to get one last rise out of her. At least you aren't like the cousin who is threatening to wear a brown suit to Viewings 2 and 3. She is SO gonna get it. Bad weather and bad hair days for year for that sin.

2. Put socks and shoes on your infant before going to a funeral home. Otherwise he will look like a little Amish baby sans straw hat. Actually it is probably important for your child to own socks and shoes. Or even just socks. Or be prepared for a barage of wrath from Aunt Margie about people that don't dress their kids properly. As she is standing beside Grandma's casket. With 20 other people. And everyone turns around looking at you like you are obviously NOT FROM JERSEY and NOT ITALIAN.

3. Just buy the damn shoes, even if they are from Payless, they are $12.99, they don't fit him and he screams so loudly when you put them on him that the nice man who works at Payless is torn between coming to see what is going on or calling 911 to report your abusive ass. Overlook the fact that the baby got a crazed look in his eyes and started pulling the shoes off with his teeth. He'll be fine.

It's going to be quite a day.

10 comments:

amy said...

Well, as long as nothing exciting is going on!

Though when I read the opening part about the tank top with the suit I looked down and realized I was wearing the same thing. Albeit at work and not a funeral ... but still.

vani said...

shoe shopping with kids is such a blast! LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh man..I am still laughing at your top..lol

well i hope at least they are haivng a nice meal:)

Katya said...

awwww kids and their first shoes...how cute, my friend got her son some and hes getting tons of wear and they still fit, so shes waiting till he needs new ones even though the current ones are totally trashed...shes a bit concerned he looks like a scruff...

:0)

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Socks and shoes are highly over-rated. If it wasn't mandatory to wear them at work, I'd be barefooted right now...;)

momma of 2 said...

the poor baby - don't make him wear shoes... tell them your doctors recommends no shoes until a certain age (6 months from now). My kids hated shoes, and didn't wear them until they had too - 18 months or so when they got moved to the toddler room at the daycare center. (aren't I terrible? we never went anywhere that they would have walked on the floors other than my home, or grandparents houses... oh well)

missbhavens said...

There's nothing cuter that baby shoes...but only when they are sitting on the store shelf. Babies need shoes like men need nipples.

J.P. said...

It’s even worse showing up at funerals dressed like Amish folk sans shoes when you’re in your late-twenties…or so I’ve been told.

steelcowboy said...

Sooooo.. how was your day?

inandoutspoken's MOMMY BRAIN LEFTOVERS! said...

Okay, I NEVER understood why babies need shoes. It's not like they need the support to WALK, now, do they?

And you ought to be exempt from any Grandma hauntings based on your courage at even TAKING an infant to a viewing/funeral. Or was that just your attempt to get excused from duty? (wink)