Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Is it time for the vacation yet?

Because I went to the movies to see Must Love Dogs, AND went to Costco AND went to IKEA all in one day, I will forgive that mean man in the parking lot who jumped in front of my car because he thought I was going too fast through his truck dealership parking lot. You must believe in God, mean man, because you had lots of faith to believe that I wouldn't spraul your middle-aged skanky used car salesman ass all over the hood of my sedan. I just didn't want to get blood on the car and I didn't want to get arrested. It was in a warehouse district, for heaven's sake. I was only doing 15 mph and you were the only person in the lot. A little baby part of my wicked heart wishes that I had not been rational during my verbal exchange with you and I had just made your wife a widow. Somehow I think she would have been thankful for the favor.

Did I mention that I got to park in the Family Parking spot in front of IKEA?

12 comments:

Marel Lecone said...

Glad that you were able to go see a movie. But, Costco AND Ikea--all in one day--you so crazy! Maybe, the salesman was trying to save you from Volvodom. Huh? :) That is a place in suburbia, right? :)

Humor Girl said...

First off, YAY for the spot!

Second off, I would have flown down and helped you clean the car. :)

J.P. said...

Since his wife was willing to marry a used car salesman in the first place, there’s a big possibility that she would have missed him if he were killed. She might also have many things in common with her husband. You realize what this means, don’t you?

You’d have to kill her, too; it’s only proper.

Katya said...

love ikea, we always have to lug huge cabinets across half the car park whilst trying to keep them on the funny trolley...

:0)

PBS said...

What an idiot to jump out in front of your car! But at least you got a good parking spot!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

So how was the flick? I'm taking off Friday to go see it, I think.

Congrats on the parking space...I love it when I get the good ones! :)

momma of 2 said...

AHH, the family parking spot. I love those! You got to do all that in one day? I probably would have hit the guy...and he would have been fine, (but sue me anyway) and I'd need a new front end for the van. So I'm glad you didn't.

Kristen said...

Marelle--he was saving me from nothing! Are you making fun of my car again? LOL

HG--I'll give you a ring next time.

Ab--that is a terrifying possibility. But he was so smarmy!!???

Katya--the carts always want to go sideways instead of forward, don't they?

PBS--the parking spot made the day better. LOL

Stacy--it was good. I am a huge John Cusack fan and he was neurotic as usual.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i love ikea...i am so jeolous..lol

vani said...

i can believe someone would jump out in front of your car and not care about you running them over- here in NY people and kids do it all the time! lol

amy said...

Kudos to you for the parking spot. And in combination with Costco?!?! You braaaaave girl, you!

Jaime said...

I doubt anyone would miss him... you should go back and see if you can "accidentally" hit him. ;)