Thursday, August 04, 2005

Connor's rules

Now I don't know Connor, but he was in the next aisle over today at the blackberry field and his mother issued the following directives:

1. Don't get the blackberry juice on your shirt or the bees will come (I'm not sure if she was really worried about bees or if she didn't want to OxyClean the white shirt).

2. Don't reach up to pick the blackberries. All the good ones are down low, like you are.

3. Don't pick the red ones. I know you think they look like raspberries, but they aren't.

4. Don't eat more than two blackberries, or you will get sick.

5. Don't just stand there in front of that bush. Look at all the blackberries down the row.

6. CONNOR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THE ROW? COME BACK HERE. COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW. CONNOR, I'M SERIOUS.

7. Don't squeeze the blackberries or they will get crushed. Be gentle.

8. Don't throw the blackberries into the basket or they will get crushed. Be gentle.

9. Connor, I said, "DON'T THROW THE BLACKBERRIES IN THE BASKET OR YOU WILL RUIN THEM."

Am I the only person to realize that these were far too many rules for little Connor to follow? I think it worked out for him because it appears that he didn't follow even one of the rules.

When I turned around, Boo Boo Kitty had managed to find the ONLY BRANCH within 5 feet and had it in his mouth. I was pulling leaves out of his mouth for about 30 minutes.

We are now up to a carrot in the supermarket, pizza crust, beer, rice cereal and blackberry branch for food. This kid is screwed.

8 comments:

g_samsa said...

If the lady knew connor well enough she should have known not to take him to the blackberry fields. Funny story.

Marel Lecone said...

Well, I was thinking, at first, I guess I shouldn't go blackberry picking with my kids. But, you're right--those were alot of rules. When I go, they will wear next to nothing, maybe a smock for the mess. I hope that Connor had fun.

Humor Girl said...

YIKES!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Conner..run.run and dont look back..lol

I thought you were changing boo boo kitty name....:)

Jaime said...

Ummm... blackberry branch, my favorite! :) Are you sure she wasn't saying "Caleb" because that sounds a whole lot like my sister! ;)

Leesa said...

Funny. I was in a restaurant once and the table next to us had a little "stuart". We must have heard his name and NO about 50 times during dinner. It was great.

amy said...

Mmmm ... beeeer. (Insert Homer Simpson drool here)

MB said...

Poor Conner. You have to wonder why a mother would bring him to a place like that if she wasn't going to help him enjoy the experience. Like the kid is just going to magically know all about this.