Sunday, July 31, 2005

Birth control and highway robbery

What do these two things have in common? (I'm starting to sound like Freakonomics. LOL)

I understand that birth control is a VERY personal matter, but this is my avenue for venting, so you might want to skip this post if you find the discussion of family (or anti-family) planning distasteful.

I lost my birth control pills. They are somewhere in this house but I can't find them. If my mother had been here since they were missing, I would have thought something fishy was going on, but she hasn't been here in months. Come to think of it, my husband is probably suspect as well. But let me explain something. I will be living in a different state than my husband rather than getting knocked up at this point of my life.

The other night I sent him looking for the pills. The man who cannot find his ass with both hands. The man would could not pour beer out of a boot if the directions were on the heel. After ten minutes I heard furniture moving in the baby's room, a loud crash, and then a wailing infant. Did he honestly believe that I had put the pills behind the dresser??? WTF?

Anyway, so here I am 2 days later, sweating it out and wondering if they will ever show up. I broke down and ordered more at CVS knowing that this would be coming directly out of my pocket, without benefit of Blue Cross/Blue Shield picking up the tab. I spoke to the pharmacist and requested that he give me generics. Normally I am too good for generics, but when I'm paying, I AIN'T paying, if you know what I mean.

I showed up and found out that my doctor had not "authorized" generics so I had to pay $59.59 for one month of pills (unless we got her on the phone at 11:27 pm). That's right, folks. $59.59 for the MINI PILL. It's not even a whole pill, but a fraction of a pill! They don't even really work, for God's sake. If you don't take them every day at the EXACT SAME TIME, you will probably get pregnant if you are in the same room with sperm.

I came home and told D all of this. He was mortified by the cost and then by the "generic excuse" given by the pharmacist. He is threatening anti-trust lawsuits and to sue CVS. I would rather he just spend that time cleaning the living room.


Christa said...

LOL!!! I feel your pain! I had my tubes tied after my daughter just so my husband couldn't f* up and knock me up with twins. Which many people have been nice enough to point out that tubal ligation have an increased failure rate after ten years. So I've been dropping hints about getting him neutered.

Jaws said...

"If you don't take them every day at the EXACT SAME TIME, you will probably get pregnant if you are in the same room with sperm. "

This made me laugh.

momma of 2 said...

Actually I think if you don't take them at the same time every day and are within a 30 miles radius of sperm you will get pregnant, so I think your hubby should send you on a vacation! LOL....

Another way to look at this - one month of out of pocket pills is a lot cheaper than being pregnant, and/or raising a child. Just a thought...

blue2go said...

That's why people whine about the high cost of any type of meds--they're SO expensive! I have a friend who needs to take many different kinds and they aren't all covered by her insurance. That's certainly a ripoff! But what's one to do when they need the pills?

MB said...

I have always felt that BCP should be free to all who want them! Geeze! After all, isn't it better to have relaxed people in the world then a crowd of up tight worried horny people?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

omg...that is highway

I use to get the depo shot..and my insurance didnt pay for it..cost me 90 bucks every 3 months..oh well..

please remeber to take them at the same time eveyrday..please..for the love of GOD..!!

Corona Red said...

They are ripping you off.

A similar thing happened to me. So, I called the insurance company to see if they would give me a month in advance so I had time to look for them. A total no go! I was annoyed.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

That's crazy! We had a friend who had a friend that worked for a pharmaceutical company and he said you would not BELIEVE how cheap some of those drugs are to make. Then they turn around and charge an arm and a leg for the stuff!!!

Guess I'm lucky that way...I haven't even SEEN a birth control pill since August of 1992...:)

Marel Lecone said...

Your post was too funny and I know you meant every word of it.:) This is why I suck at BC. Same time. Every day. Need cash. Hence, two children in two years. Now, no sex. (well, I exaggerate a bit but not much.) heehee :)

Kristen said...

Christa--the neutering conversation does not go over well here. LOL. I guess I should finish with having kids first rather than talking about THAT all the time.

Jaws--if you knew my sisters you would realize how dangerously true this is. Glad to make you laugh.

Momma-I'm SO using that vacation idea. And I thought the same thing about the cost vs. cost.

Blue--the pharmaceutical companies are killing us.

MB--relaxation GOOD!

Christina--you don't have to worry about me. LOL

Corona--they are so kindhearted there at the insurance company. Not going to give an inch, huh?

Stacy-- The poor dears are just trying to scrape by. Hah!

Marelle--your BC experiences are legendary. JUST SAY NO!!! LOL

Jaime said...

Ugh... $60 holy cow. I look back on all of my years of birth control pill copays and wish I had known then what i know now! I was off the pill for 3 years before conceiving... and that was only w/ the help of Clomid.

amy said...

Oh man, this was funny (yet terrifying) all at the same time. I'm on the patch now ... because as smart as I may be, I did have a problem with remembering to take the BC pill at the same time everyday and geez well, with a hubby in law school who wants to TWO automatic kids? (Cuz y'know, my husband acts like he's 6 most days)

Any luck in finding them yet?? Or did you just give up?

Kristen said...

Jaime--if we could just get the co-pays back, huh?

Amy--I would KILL for the patch but I can't use it because I have to take the Mini Pill because I am nursing the boy. And if you think your husband is a baby now, wait until he gets to the end and has to study for the bar. LOL

utenzi said...

Is sex really worth $2 a day? I doubt it. And then if you don't do it every day the price escalates! Twice a weekers would be paying $7.50 a pop. So to speak. I'd have given a lot of thought to taking a month off. LOL