Thursday, July 21, 2005

What the heck happened to that water bottle?

I spent a whole 10 minutes yesterday looking my 1 1/2 liter bottle of Deer Park that I had just opened and taken a few sips of. Never found it. Eventually I gave up and cracked open another.

This morning I awakened to E's gurgles and gripes on the monitor. My new policy is to wait to go get him until he actually cries like someone is pulling all his eyebrow hairs out one by one. He was fussing away but not very loud and not very committed. I let him go for about 15 minutes and then I went in to get him. There he was clutching my OPENED and now MOSTLY EMPTY water bottle. Thanks to the waterproof mattress pad, he was lying in about an 1/8 inch of water, completely soaked from head to toe and smelling slightly off.

I carried him into the bathroom and showed him to D as he was taking his shower.

K: Look at the baby.
D: He's cute.
K: Look at his outfit.
D: I know. I put it on him.
K: (frustration mounting EXPONENTIALLY) FEEL his outfit.
D: He's wet?
K: Didn't you happen to notice the huge ass water bottle in the crib when you put him in last night?
D: Uh, no.

Once again I have divine intervention to thank--this time for my child who didn't drown in the pool of water known as his crib.

Swim on, Toofus.


Marel Lecone said...

This is SO NOT funny. [as I laugh through my covered mouth] I am only remembering when I left the Vick's nearby or when I left a little Easter basket for Faith to play with when she woke up. Problem--she got her head and her leg in the basket handle. So, her leg was up near her head and she was stuck [imagine, in the basket]. [laughing as I type] Thank God she is a pretty good-natured kid.

You're doing great. Talk to you later.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...


momma of 2 said...

Don't leave vasoline anywhere near their grubby little can take weeks to get it out of their hair, off the bathroom mirror, tub, sink, toilet...everything gets a little (okay A LOT) slippery! etc...not that I would know from personal experience or anything... oh wait - maybe I do.

amy said...

Well there's one mystery solved. How on earth it go there may go unexplained for generations!

Katya said...

i shouldn't be laughing but i am, it sounds so don't notice much so its not that big a surprise...


blue2go said...

That's cute, but good thing he was OK!

Robin said...


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh the heck did a baby open it?...he must be super

all kidding aside...that could of turned out bad..Thank God he just got all wet:)

MB said...

I am laughing like crazy. Thanks. I've been having such a down day.
Toofus, you goofus! Thanks!

Kristen said...

Marelle--if it isn't one thing, it's another


Mommaof2-no vasoline, check!

Amy--I may have put it there the day before by accident???

Katya--at least men are consistent, right?

blue/christina/robin--before you get really concerned about my ability to parent, I may have used some creative license on the amount of water in the crib--I come from a long line of exaggerators--we feel it makes for a better story LOL

MB--glad to make you laugh

steelcowboy said...

Ah, boy do I recall THEM days.
Thanks for linking me up! :)