Friday, April 22, 2005

WTF is up with the farmer in the dell

You know all those other posts where people are deep thinkers? Not so much here.

The Farmer in the dell has been bugging me now for 72 hours. After catching myself humming Led Zeppelin to quiet the baby down, I thought perhaps I should use "age appropriate" music. You know, get into the groove of this whole baby crap.

I'm not sure where it came from (the depths of hell in retrospect) but I began singing the Farmer in the Dell to Ethan the other day. I didn't quite get through the first line before I became disturbed.

"The farmer takes A wife."

Where is he taking her? Matuba for her favorite Millenium Rolls or Spicy Toro Rolls?
Citronelle for the Chocolate Three Ways? Paris, because she has been so nice and gave him such the sweet baby that he always, always wanted?

And is the taking necessarily of HIS wife? It just says "a wife." Does he get to shop around all the area wives, looking for the one that won't talk back or take the credit cards out of his wallet and cut them up? (ten bucks says at least one reader is, right now, frantically reaching for his wallet in his front pocket and scanning its contents)

How about the child picking the nurse? Who would trust their kid to pick his childcare provider? "You, you with the bottle. You look good enough."

And last, but certainly not least...

"The cheese stands alone." What does THAT mean? Other than that you were the last asshole to be picked in this stupid game where the popular kids get to be people, the less popular kids get to be animals and the unpopular kids are food products. This is what I think of when I hear "the cheese stands alone."

I wish I had a click-the-button system like they have on Outlook so everyone could weigh in on which line is the worst? Having to choose would be tough though.

Derek and I had a long discussion (longer than 2 minutes, which is a long conversation for me these days).
But here it is. The comment of the hour....drum roll please....

DT--Why can't the farmer take a wife AND the nurse? Then he can have that menage a trois he has always wanted.

Way to take a really disturbing song and throw it right off the cliff there, big guy.


Marel Lecone said...

If I may, let me enlighten you further on this now disturbing song. It does seem innocent enough when the husband takes the wife (WHERE I am not sure but probably WHERE she does not want to go); however, as you read on, I do believe crimes are being committed throughout the rest of the little song. It hit me exactly when the wife takes the child and everyone else is guilty from that time on. Who exactly did she take this kid from? And, is she acting out bitterly on how she was taken from her sweet life in singlehood? Just to show how the legal system may not be working, this piece of cheese stands alone. Haven't we been talking for years that no one wants to take responsibility for their actions. It is a real shame. Thanks for pointing out the horror in this sad and terrible song.

There is one more thing that disturbs me greatly--you can buy a cheese costume for $499.00 online??? I know now there is definitely a bright hope that I will one day have my own business also selling something to someone.::))

djchuang said...

I love Matuba! Great lunch deal, I usu take my wife there, when she's in town, for the box lunch. Delish!

jen lemen said...

love it.
damn farmer. and who says they aren't cramming patriarchy down kids throats from birth?