There are many a discussion these days regarding what to do with The Boy, specifically how the hell to get him back in HIS bed before I kill him. We crossed some line and now the crib is viewed as a torture chamber into which babies are thrown by mothers that are only seeking to desert their children in order to go downstairs and eat Cheerios and climb on the dog. That must be what we are doing because what is better than feeding the dog Cheerios while playing king of the mountain? Even walking within 3 feet of the crib causes unabashed wailing and hysteria.
So my sister suggested that we just put a mattress on the floor, babyproof his room, gate the door and let him have at it. She also suggested that maybe if the kid was sleeping on a pillowtop mattress with 600 thread count sheets of his own he might stop jones-ing for mine.
I made mention of this to my husband. He immediately suggest the race car toddler bed at Ikea. The kid is a year old. Who the hell is the race car bed for? Really? We also discussed how we might be able to keep him from falling out, if only to keep his sleep uninterrupted so that the rest of us could make a valid attempt at making it until morning without being BOTHERED (and that really is the only way to explain it) by the child that ALREADY bothers for 16 hours a day.
K: Maybe we could just put one of those bed rails by the mattress on the floor so if he rolls against it, he might stay asleep.
D: You know what he really needs. One of those dog beds with the foam sides on it.
K: You didn't just suggest that your child sleep in a dog bed, did you?