Friday, February 24, 2006

A solution only a man could come up with

There are many a discussion these days regarding what to do with The Boy, specifically how the hell to get him back in HIS bed before I kill him. We crossed some line and now the crib is viewed as a torture chamber into which babies are thrown by mothers that are only seeking to desert their children in order to go downstairs and eat Cheerios and climb on the dog. That must be what we are doing because what is better than feeding the dog Cheerios while playing king of the mountain? Even walking within 3 feet of the crib causes unabashed wailing and hysteria.

So my sister suggested that we just put a mattress on the floor, babyproof his room, gate the door and let him have at it. She also suggested that maybe if the kid was sleeping on a pillowtop mattress with 600 thread count sheets of his own he might stop jones-ing for mine.

I made mention of this to my husband. He immediately suggest the race car toddler bed at Ikea. The kid is a year old. Who the hell is the race car bed for? Really? We also discussed how we might be able to keep him from falling out, if only to keep his sleep uninterrupted so that the rest of us could make a valid attempt at making it until morning without being BOTHERED (and that really is the only way to explain it) by the child that ALREADY bothers for 16 hours a day.

K: Maybe we could just put one of those bed rails by the mattress on the floor so if he rolls against it, he might stay asleep.
D: You know what he really needs. One of those dog beds with the foam sides on it.
K: You didn't just suggest that your child sleep in a dog bed, did you?


Crickets.

10 comments:

Memphis Steve said...

My cat sleeps in a dog bed. He loves it. Whomever's dog it was for, they clearly didn't miss it because they've never asked for it back. But you couldn't pry it from my cat's sharp claws. He'd eat you alive.

vani said...

we crossed that line some time ago too and it's been torture trying to reverse the deed. there's been allot of crying and screaming and sleepless nights...and they still somehow end up in our bed. we keep hoping that one day they will outgrow this..i mean, they have to, right??

PBS said...

Playing music worked for getting my son to sleep. I would read 1-3 books to him before bed (yes, even when he was really little--from four months on) and then switch on a tape recorder with my voice reading books. It really worked! But kids are so different that what works for one, may not for another.

nancy said...

OK...I must admit the doggy bed idea did bring a smile to my face. That is an ingenious if not "horrific" idea. However, it seems E is KING of the castle and until you take back the throne no "ingenious" or otherwise ideas are going to work. I suggest the book "Baby wise". Even at 11 mos. with one of mine who tried to disrupt the peace...it worked. And if that doesn't work...get D the car bed and then you and E can have more room.

Marel Lecone said...

That is funny. As for the mattress in his room, I think the book answer to this is that the mattress is where you will sleep in his room until he gets used to the crib on his own. I know that this also sounds like torture for you. But, I think this is how it works. :)

Laura said...

The Ultimate Fighting Crib Tent!!! Works like a dream over here.
~L.

Fantastagirl said...

Don't ask me - we are still having problems with the 3 year old... good luck!

Cathy said...

Hey - if the dog bed works and you both get some good sleep - I say go with what works and don't worry about the rest :)

He's a boy anyway - if he isn't sleeping in the dog's bed when he is one - I bet he will be when he is 3....

AL said...

If he is that upset, then it seems you have no choice but to move on to a different bed. When Loo got to that point, I bought her Dora sheets and made a big deal out of her new bed. She didn't get out of it for a while - until she figured out she could!

Good luck :)

Random Vixen said...

C1 starting climbing out of her's at 15 months. I got her a toddler bed for target (with the rails) and those playground type floor mats for when she fell out. it took a week before she was in the bed kinda.

As for breaking the cycle? I ave no clue i absolutely refused to allow her in my bed so she never got used to ituntil she was 5. I know ass backward kid.