Thursday, July 07, 2005

Fog City, the Mormons are making a killing and why am I always buying a vaporizor on vacation?

Might I say I am having a rock star vacation, all except for the fact that the baby has more green snot stuck in his head than one of those funky cartoon characters that I have not yet been forced to watch. I resorted to sucking the snot out of his nose as a game in an effort to ensure sleep for all, but it didn't work. I had to get a vaporizer, which is apparently the doctor's recommended method for increasing your child's breathing capacity during a cold. This would be the third vaporizer I have purchased since his birth and all that crap about nursed babies getting less diseases is crap.

Sunday we got together with "the cousins" and had a barbeque. Uncle Mike barbequed everything under the sun and I caught Derek yelling at one of the distant relatives about corporate taxes and outsourcing. Isn't that what everyone discusses at 3rd of July barbeques? All I am going to say is that I turned my head for just a second and all hell broke loose. We like to refer to it as "The Red Wine Incident Gone Bad."

Monday morning my sister in law took me to yoga in Half Moon Bay, an experience which I found so fabulous that I could almost forgive her for giving my son a carrot, pizza crust and beer this weekend when he has not had one taste of any food yet (I said ALMOST forgive, Kristi). Pretty much the only thing she didn't give him was dog food. As far as I know. That will teach me to leave my child unattended or even turn my head for a split second in the presence of family.

Monday night we were off to watch the fireworks at the hilltop house of one of Kristi's shie-shie friends. The fog held off, the food was fab and we managed to beat the traffic back into town to check into our hotel. And might I say the Mormons are no fools. The Marriott is charging us $45 a night to park the car. WTF??? There goes the massage, dinner for 2 nights and a crepe at the pier. Bastards. I really need to get a job.


amy said...

Might I say that I your stories of vacation planning and executing downright hilarious and enjoyable? Keep in mind that I know my "day is coming" and if I promise to blog about all of my own family's hilarity that you'll permit me to keep chuckling?

It's really very entertaining, Kristen ... :)

Kristen said...

Amy, thanks for the kind words but the sad part is that I am not even trying to be funny. My life appears to be one big joke. Oh dear. :-)

Marel Lecone said...

"This would be the third vaporizer I have purchased since his birth and all that crap about nursed babies getting less diseases is crap."

I'm sorry bent over in laughter. Oh, wait, not sorry. Too funny. Cracking up, really. Damn traveling, I know!!! Ship that vaporizer home and ebay it.

You are right. The first solid foods given to your child are given by the relatives. Why is this?!?!

I kept thinking that you were in Utah with all the Mormon refs. So, of course, I had to look up Half Moon Bay thinking that I had misunderstood you. You know me . . .:)

Kristen said...



inandoutspoken's MOMMY BRAIN LEFTOVERS! said...

I always wonder how such little things can produce SO MUCH SNOT. I mean, they can't blow their noses, so when you're using the snot sucker and it just keeps coming and coming and coming... just makes ya wonder why their little faces don't start inflating like pus in a zit... LOL!