Wednesday, November 02, 2005

"Low Points of the Day" or "how-I-contemplated-suicide-at-least-a-dozen-times"

1. Asked D if we could have a Christmas party this year...

(can you hear the cricket chirping?)

What the hell is it about men that make them think that if they don't even acknowledge that a question has been asked, then they can pretend it never was actually asked. I could actually hear the wheels churning in his head--

K: You are totally trying to come up with a way to say "no" that will not succeed in making me think that we MUST have a party and now I should invite twice as many people as I had originally planned.
D: Sort of???

2. Asked the electrician (who had the audacity to show up at my house 45 minutes early when D was still home--kind of blew my whole "baby, I fixed the electrical problem" story that I had concocted) if I had managed to get it close to right with the 3 way switch, outlets and hardwiring the lights over the cabinets.

E: Ah, no.

Well, you can kiss your tip goodbye there, David.

3. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND COUNTRY, could someone please explain why the hell I cook a gourmet dinner every day and my child insists on finding every stray piece of dog food which then ends up in his mouth? The monster doesn't want to eat the butternut squash that I so kindly ROASTED for him, but he'll eat the damn Lamb and Rice dog food. Dog food--parts of parts of animals. I put the dog food away and still the kid manages to find a piece. Make that 4 pieces today. Every time I catch him, I throw up a little in my mouth. And why the hell can't the DAMN DOG find the stray pieces? What is his friggin' contribution to this family if he can't even keep his food out of the baby's mouth?

9 comments:

Kris said...

I have no advice. Wish I did. I rely on wine, baby girl. WINE.

amy said...

I'm with kris. Drink wine, give it to E, slosh up the hubby, whatever it takes to make it through.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

my baby spawn lives on beneful dog food and whiskas cat treats. she can find them wherever i hide them. she will come up to me with a whole mouth full of dog chow...grosses me out...she wont eat tuna noodle cassarole but eats fucking friskys

Chris Lautischer said...

hahhahah my suggestion? start feeding the dog gourmet food then :P

Marel Lecone said...

OK. I'm completely grossed out--and, Christina's comment totally contributed. :) Just give up and go with the damn french fries. heehee :) Really--I have no advice--we're half-assing it all day around here in the meals department. :)

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

That is TOO funny!

My niece used to do the dog food thing too....we once caught her with her cheeks stuffed full of it.

Ewwwww......

momma of 2 said...

the dog is there to simply clean up the food that is dropped from the table...so drop dog food from the table dog will eat it - put the wonderful meal you prepared in dog dish - kid will eat it... Okay So I have no clue either...

vani said...

makes me glad i have to pets..LOL

Charity said...

I ended up feeding my dogs outside. And I store their food in one of those rubbermaid totes that are hard to get the lids off of. Now that my little ones are out of the dog food eating stages I can feed my critters inside. I also had a baby gate up where the cats food, and litterbox is. That keeps the dogs from eating the cat food, and the kids away from it all!

And I always tricked my kids...I would give them a bite of something they like (not dog food) and then the next bite would be the squash, or I would cut it up and mix it with another veggie they like.

I got lucky because my children prefer their veggies to say chicken, perfectly grilled steak, or whatever. So now i have to make them eat their protein before they get to have salad, broccoli, or whatever veggie I made that night.

Wow I was long winded...LOL