Sunday, July 24, 2005

Someone in the house smells like wet dog

Zinni,

Now it isn't like me to point fingers, but if you want to loved and adored, you probably shouldn't have rolled in the dead animal on your way back in from the middle of the lake. So now you have managed to take that wet dog smell and up the ante with a foul dead smell. We'll call it the "double word score" of bad dog behavior. Lounging on your back in the middle of the dog bed and refusing to look at me directly does not in any way, shape or form make you any less guilty of your crime of stinking up my house. And if you walk past me one more time with the full-contact rub, leaving streaks of wet dog/dead animal along the length of my leg, I will have to ship you off to Nana Jane's house, where she will love you unconditionally. I don't do unconditional.

Love,
The Head Bitch

7 comments:

blue2go said...

Yuck! "The Head Bitch" I like that, so funny!

Marel Lecone said...

I can just imagine him sliding up your leg, looking nonchalant almost innocent, but evil every second of it. Great post!

Humor Girl said...

I hope I get that name when I'm a mommy! :)

Kristen said...

Blue--he's killing me

Marelle--he's too stupid to look nonchalant :-)

humor girl--it takes a near breakdown to earn that nickname. LOL

steelcowboy said...

Ack. Stinky, wet dogs ;)
My son's dog is affectionately called Buddy Da 'tinky Dawg, for obvious reasons...

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ahhhh...that was excellent!!! Can I borrow that whole thing and just change the names???

I have three dogs and at least one of them ALWAYS manages to find the "smelly dead thing" in the yard.

Luckily, two of them stay outside 24/7...I only have to worry about Jezebel (out inside Pit)....but every now and then, she gets lucky and wins the "stinky lotto" and really grosses me out. Ugh.

Kristen said...

SC--I guess that is better than "nasty-ass dog."

Stacey-3???? I would die.